in my shoes

"its hard to walk in a single woman's shoes...that's why we need special ones now and then"

carrie bradshaw was talking about a manolo blahnik shoes in that episode of SATC -- it was a silver 4-inch high, peeptoe one worth $485. the one i have above didn't even cost me more than $15, which i bought last May over lunch :) it's such a lovely pair which i can wear for office or for going out in the evening. i can run in these and jump. i think its that good a pair thats why i have been going around other shops trying to find another one in beige and maybe another black one, so i have another one to use when i finally wear this one out. but there's none anymore...sayang. anyway, click here to see what carrie was wearing in that show. it looked good on carrie, but those won't fit me well... they're too fabulous and too tall. they're hers. i have mine :)

by the way, notice i had nail polish in my right toes while i don't in the other foot? hehe... i was practicing to find out what would feel and look better. i decided to go without the nail polish :)

summer solstice

north avenue beach,
originally uploaded by gezelle.

finally, summer is here. i made it through chicago fall, winter and spring. lovely, if you think about it.

i visited the beach yesterday with lee and took photos, i even took my newly adopted sea turtle, pochi, with us. he loved it. we both did. there was no intention of swimming, we just wanted to see the sand, the waves, the sun while it was setting, the cool people hanging out in there... i felt a bit awkward because i was wearing too much clothes, but it was okay -- lee had more :) it was past 7pm when we got there, just in time because the sun was about to set. perfect time for moments of contemplation :) as i expected, the sunset doesnt compare to what we get in the philippines and the beach wasnt as pristine, but i cant complain. i was happy to be there even for just a while.

it has been more than a year since i walked on the sea shore. the last time was feb 2005, in batangas, RTS overnight team-building. nakaka-miss, not just the beach but the people i used to work with who have now left accenture. we had so much fun at eagle point. we went island-hopping via speedboat (scary but tremendously fun), snorkelling, billiards, swimming, kayaking...and just hanging out, enjoying each other's company. sobrang fun. i wish we could do that again...

i never leave the sea without longing to go back pero im sure the longing to go back was much more for my friend pochi. don't worry, pochi. i promise to take you back to the beach before summer ends :) next time, we'll go swimming :)

polaroid from the sea

...as blue as we go...

burdens we cradle

these burdens i cradle

now i am able to face them

change them

or bless them
and i thank you most
for what you did or didnt

the one where morrie was right

i cant help but smile when i think about it... to be sure that he knows i will be happy as long as he is happy and to be sure that he knows i will be there when no one else would... to know that he knows i will never give up until he is able to find his way out of this misery -- he has also saved me from mine... to love simply without complications... to be content with his friendship and to know i can love this much and this way... isnt all that wonderful? morrie was right all along: love wins, love always wins.

...i could sing of your love forever...

i have been thinking these days, and i have been grateful for these thoughts.... no one can satisfy us like the One who called us His children and loves us unconditionally... He loves us as if there's only one of us...He meets us in the depths and if we let Him, even in the shallows of our souls...

Of dreams and pancakes

The trouble with having a really good night's dream is waking up wishing that life could be just a little bit more wonderful...The trouble with dreaming about a stack of pancakes is waking up to find out you only have honey syrup in the fridge.

hey, tony...

i have few memories of you, but those i will hold dear: my favorite is seen in our picture above and the one below taken at allan's bday party - cute natin di ba? :) thank you for being so warm palagi, sweet even. ready to listen and to give advice. always on the lookout for an opportunity to make us smile and enjoy our brief stay here :) you did make me smile and i enjoyed your company a lot. salamat, ha. im grateful for every remembrance of you.

here's a trivia tony, which i didnt tell you :( when you were singing 'my way' last tuesday you reminded me of my dad -- both of you share the same passion for that song. he is also a good singer, like you. it was a good song you sang...

bye for now and be at peace, tony, we will meet again and we will sing some more when we do. you get to choose the songs like you did last week. anything you like :)

the stone

Oh, unholy day, if I leave now I might get away.
Oh but this weighs on me, as heavy as stone and as blue as I go.
I was just wondering if you'd come along.

Hold up my head when my head wont hold on.
I'll do the same if the same's what you want,
If not I'll go, I will go along...

..Long way, ah, from that fools mistake.
And now forever pay, no run, I will run and I'll be ok.

I was just wondering if you'd come along.
Hold up my head when my head wont hold on.
I'll do the same if the sames what you want,
But if not I'll go, I will go along...

I need so, to stay in your arms, see you smile, hold you close.
And now it weighs on me, as heavy as stone and of bone chilling cold.
I was just wondering if you'd come along.


click here if you want to listen to this song, its the second in the playlist. lyrics by dave matthews -- i wonder what happened to him...what was his mistake that he had to run away from? how much longer did he have to linger before going along? how long did he have to run alone...did he ever thought about turning back?

listen to it...it aches but its beautiful. best part is towards the end, an outro wherein he sang a few lines from that famous elvis prestley song, 'cant help falling inlove'. dont miss that.

9.30.2006

this is my official date of return to manila. three months na ako dito. still have four months more to go. have a few things i hope i can do while im here:

1. visit oakpark where ernest hemingway owned a house
2. visit the museum of science and industry
3. go to the adler planetarium
4. revisit the field museum -- didn't have enough time the first time i was there
5. explore the chicago cultural center here at the downtown
6. get a state id and get discount cards at the gap store, etc.
7. visit the botanical garden
8. go to the wrigley field -- watch a baseball game, with the Cubs playing
9. pasyal around little italy
10. taste of chicago
11. museum of contemporary art
12. gino's east pizza -- try the deep dish pizza there
13. try a chicago style hotdog -- they said i can get some in navy pier
14. watch movie in grant park during summer -- hehe :)
15. visit the oprah studio -- better yet, try getting tickets & watch an episode!
16. go to the viewing deck of the sears tower -- after all, its the tallest in US
17. eat a mcgriddle for breakfast -- done already, but no pictures
18. eat krispy kremes -- done with picture, but wouldnt hurt if i get another one :)
19. watch a theater play -- wicked! this play is about the witches in the land of Oz before Dorothy came into the picture. happening in july.
20. go biking or swimming at the lake shore -- hopefully this month!
21. kain sa hooters -- not sure why because i dont love chickens
22. watch more concerts -- i just came back from indiana to watch the dave matthews band concert and i cant wait for the next one -- two actually: goo goo dolls & counting crows and then, kelly clarkson. both concerts will be in july.
23. shop :)
24. continue to do volunteer work -- there's one coming up next weekend, sponsored by the Chicago Cares Foundation: it's the 13th annual serve-a-thon in which we would be painting public schools/offices for one day. looking forward.
25. formula one -- must be exciting, right?

don't really know what's in store for me when i get back to manila... i trust though that im good hands so no need to worry. living in the present, and planning for the weekends :)

-ooo-

here's one that might actually cheer you guys up: a video taken while we were on a water ride at the six flags amusement park. equivalent ng jungle log jam sa enchanted kingdom: enjoy!

walk and roll chicago

volunteers come in different shapes, sizes and species!

this photo was taken last May, at the hutchinson field here in downtown chicago, near the lake shore. my friends (shellane and christine) and i volunteered for the walk and roll chicago event sponsored by the American Cancer Society as individuals and as part of the Accenture group -- this way, dalawa ang lunch namin :) the event started at around 10am, a little late than scheduled because there's another walk and roll event sponsored by a different organization naman. we were just supposed to be marshals that day, cheering the crowd in a designated station and making sure they are going the right way. we were stationed at the starting point so we can cheer the participants as they start off on their 5 mile walk, 10 mile skate, or 15 mile bike journey. while waiting for the actual walk & roll to begin, i was going around and taking pictures of the participants and found many toddlers, children, senior citizens, families eagerly awaiting their turn in the start line. ang saya, they really go out of their way to not just walk or bike and skate -- they bring tents, food, tables and chairs to sit on, their entire families and many friends (and pets!) to become part of it. i can not estimate how many people volunteered, pero ang dami and it was a good feeling to be one of them. i guess most people do it in memory of their departed loved ones who did not survive the cancer disease, some would do it in support for their loved ones who are still battling against it. to me, its because somehow i want to do something worthwhile during the weekend, be able to see how these things happen here in the US so I can compare it to how we do it back home and I guess I just want to make my stay here in the US more meaningful. syempre, to be able to take photos na rin :)

so as ive said we were just supposed to cheer the crowd, pero what shellane and i actually did was to go with them. to be marshals as we walk with them. it was not very hot that day, but there were few clouds and the sun managed to burn our faces after a while. we started walking at around 1030am and finished at about lunchtime i think. inabot na ng 1030am yung simula dahil nauna kasi yung mga bikers and skaters, 15 minutes ang interval per batch.

as we walked with the crowd, i saw pictures of people printed or pinned on the shirts and captioned with "in loving memory of" then followed with the names of their aunt, dad, son or daughter... i guess to these volunteers, though you see them cheer and smile most of the time, the event could not be entirely fun. its not easy remembering a departed loved one no matter how far back in the past losing them has been. but im sure they found it worthwhile, as I did, and will hope to be part of it again next year.