"That Grad Feeling"



Not many people know about this story. It happened on my senior year in college at theUniversity of the Philippines, April 2000. The graduation season.

I have submitted and completed all my academic subjects for the BACHELOR of Computer Science course. Everything. But sometime last year, the CS dept heads and jedis decided to have a change in the curriculum. So there was an option for the students to either graduate with a BACHELOR of SCIENCE in Computer Science degree (BS CS) or the plain old BACHELOR of Computer Science degree (B CS). I could settle for either but i thought, if I can graduate with the BS CS degree, then I would no longer have people ask me where's the missing 'S'. After all, the only addition would be a 3-unit ELECTIVE, an innocent 3-unit elective, and for me that would be CS 180, AI (Artificial Intelligence) taught by Sir Pros. For some reasons, I was not able to complete that subject when I took it one semester ago, cuz i believe "it's what goes into your head, and not the grades". Plus, ang hirap ng machine problem!

But i wanted to graduate with a BS CompSci degree cuz i really don't like it when people say, "bachelor lang" although it really is just the same thing. So i decided to complete my elective and did the last requirement, a Machine Problem using neural network, and on FRIDAY (8 days before graduation) i submitted the source code together with my completion form. I thought it was over. I thought with a grin that finally, victory is mine.

My MP was there and the completion form was there. But where is the professor? What i didnt know was that the professor was "out of town" and of course couldn't sign my completion form. I was a bit nervous but i am pretty sure that he'd be back from wherever he is right now. Yes, I was sure.

I waited in the CS dept for some news. I was also trying to email my MP to my professor. The internet connection was sooooooo sloooow but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, for at around 8pm the CS dept phone rang. I was the only one in the room, so i answered the phone, and am i glad to hear it was him! He wasn't "out of town"....he was out of the country....and wouldnt let me know when he will be back. I suddenly felt week in
the knees. I didnt know what i might have looked like when i learned this.

I had to think positive. At least now my professor is aware that one of his students needs rescuing. And i thought, if i couldnt get this subject completed, i am no doubt still a candidate for graduation under the BACHELOR of Computer Sscience degree...right.... right?

WRONG. The names and the degree endorsements have been forwarded months ago to the UP President. and my name was endorsed under the BS CS degree. Hindi na daw pwedeng baguhin.

MONDAY (6 days before the graduation rites and last day of submission of names to the President). Around 10 am. I talked to the dean of the engineering college without just to hear him say there is nothing he could do. That was the procedure. That was the law.

Now i realize, my graduation, my future, my dreams, lies in the hands of one man. I am just exaggerating, of course. But at that time, i couldnt laugh at even the funniest joke.

I was really nervous so much that i was asking other people to pray for me instead dahil i couldnt bring myself to pray really really hard...pero i know that god knows my heart even if i couldnt bring myself to my knees...he knows my heart and have I faith that everything will work out for good. I was trembling. Although i was with my best friend the whole time, he didnt seem to exist, there was nothing he could say that would calm me down or make me feel better. I was really close to bursting and crying out loud in those halls of the melchor hall filled with students smilingly anticipating the day of their graduation, talking about gimmicks or what to do for the summer or their new jobs awaiting them, while there i was...sitting on the floor, thinking what if my MP was incorrect and my grade a failing one? i couldnt imagine what could've happened...

Of course my MP was correct.
At around 4pm, MONDAY (i repeat, 6 days before the graduation rites and last day of submission of names to the President) Sir Pros, signed my completion form...with a 2.5 grade in AI...saying, "paano kung di ka nakapasa? paano kung di ako nakabalik...(or something like that)?". We both know the answer to that. But there was no need to say a word. I tried to fake a smile, but i dont know if it showed. Now, this time, it's finally over. But I was not in a rejoicing mood, i was simply thankful.

I think i was the last one who got cleared from the entire College of Engineering. Honest. I am just so grateful because the unimaginable thing didnt happen. I am sure that God allowed those things to happen to teach me something.
And to me, that is to trust in His unfailing love, that everything works for the good of those who call upon His name.

But in retrospect, even if the unimaginable thing happened, even if i didnt graduate, i would still have faith that everything will turn out fine, because God is always in the middle of things, He knows what He is doing and His plans are always more wonderful than mine.