here's the root of the root, the bud of the bud

i carry your heart with me

i am never without it

anywhere i go, you go

and whatever is done by only me is your doing

(adopted from e.e. cumming's poem)

To My Mom:

hi mom. i already greeted you but what i didn't tell you was that i miss being around you so much. i miss your kwento about your co-teachers, your co-teachers' daughters, and your co-teacher's daughters' daughters... i miss having our daing-with-kamatis breakfast with you while we listen to your favorite AM radio station...i miss your kwento regarding your students which is usually about how you would discipline them for being noisy and loitering around while you went to the comfort room....how you would teach them to write neatly using ballpens...On weekends, i miss watching The Buzz with you -- which you pretend to not enjoy watching -- and reading the Sunday papers with you. I remember how you love to read the Sunday Inquirer magazine and mark the pages for me, so I wouldn't miss the good articles there.

but what i miss the most is this (when i would stay at lola's or at my Makati dorm): the warmest hugs and kisses you give me when i go home each weekend -- you would open the door at usually 1am or 2am and tell me how you have been worried a little about me going home so late and how much you have prayed that i'll get home safe. you will wait for me to change into my house clothes then knock on my door to see if i still want to have dinner. if i did, you would help prepare the table and sit across me and ask how my week has been...it's late and you have things to do early in the morning but you still sit there, excited that i have come home at last. i appreciate that so much and look forward to coming to our home each week.

i don't suppose you will read this anytime soon, but someday i will let you know that i wrote something about you in my blog -- i will of course explain to you what a blog is. sorry for posting your picture, i know how you hate having your picture taken, you will probably hate this even more... but this is a good photo, and i think you are beautiful in it -- so don't be angry at me :)

happy mother's day, nanay -- thank you for being the mom that i can be so proud of. thank you for the countless, continuous prayers -- i suspect that this is probably the MAIN reason why i continue to be blessed in ways that i think i do not deserve. thank you for loving me the way you do, selflessly and unconditionally. i understand what God's grace means because of you and i consider my life blessed and beautiful just because you are a part of it. thank you for showing me the person i want to become. thank you for everything.

i love you, mom -- this is something i still find hard to say in person so please learn how to use text messaging in cellphones so i can say it more often :)

-Your Chinggay