The best gift anyone can give me at Christmas is a planner. I like planners because I am a planner. I like thinking ahead. I like being prepared. I get a high from being on top of things. But some things are beyond planning. And life doesn't always turn out as planned.
You don't plan for a broken heart. You don't plan for a failed marriage. You don't plan for an adulterous husband. You don't plan for an autistic child. You don't plan for spinsterhood. You don't plan for a lump in your breast.
You plan to be young forever. You plan to climb the corporate ladder. You plan to be rich and powerful. You plan to be acclaimed and successful. You plan to conquer the universe. You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.
You don't plan to be sad. You don't plan to be hurt. You don't plan to be broke. You don't plan to be betrayed. You don't plan to be alone in this world.
You plan to be happy. You don't plan to be shattered.
Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens.
Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans - especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry but we can carry that cross with courage, knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.
Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger. Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble. Sometimes God sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves. Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.
Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.
Growing up we get dismayed by the realization that we could not get everything we want. Growing old, I am delighted by the realization that although I can't have everything I want, I can want everything I have.
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