from ma'am pia

these are some quotes from "nakaduyan sa buwan: mga tula ng pag-ibig" -- a small, delicious and enchanting book my brother brought home from baguio several years ago. it was written by one of his college professors, pia arboloeda, and it contained poetry, short stories and photographs depicting the many ways we express and experience passion and love.

reading her takes me places unimaginable and yet at the same time, somewhere i seem to have already been before. it leads me into the peculiar but also reminds me of the familar. it's not too romantic nor mushy, but rather bittersweet and magical.

a good enough combination for me.

dust from
the lightbulb
turned into
golden ashes
as they fall on
your shoulders
-from "magic" by pia arboleda


in this world, i know,
there is
unending supply
of sorrow,
and the heart
could always
make room for more
-susan musgrave

-ooo-

you have gone
before my touch
could bask in the glow
of your cheek

before my dreams
could know the intimate details
of your pillow

before my tears
could offer garlands of love
upon yor feet

you left me with nothing
but a string of sleepless nights
i wish to turn
into a necklace for you.

of sweet dreams and water rides

a few nights ago, i had a dream and its the kind that you could almost wish you wouldn't wake up from. basta in the dream, i was on a water ride with a friend...its like the River Wild ride at Star City except that we were comfortably sitting side by side rather than awkwardly in a small log. there's enough room for maybe four people. dun sa panaginip ko, i was neither frightened nor excited about the ride... what i vividly remember was myself looking ahead with a smile saying, "im so happy".

to be honest, i have not felt like that in a long time in real life. in my recent experiences, i am often excited, awed, amazed, thrilled... but the feeling i had in that dream was different. it was not grand but it wasn't lacking in any way either. it was happiness, pure and simple.

when i woke up, i don't know whether to laugh or cry... yes, it was a good dream and a good feeling to have even for just a while but... isn't it also sad to know that you were happier in your subconscious than when you're actually awake? ewan ko... pero what i do know was that i wanted to go back to sleep hoping i could extend my dream just a little bit more.

by the way, in the dream we were dry all throughout the ride. for some reasons, eventhough it had a lot of twists and turns and water was splashing from everywhere, e hindi kami nababasa! o 'di ba, its a magical water ride!

-ooo-

water fun at the six flags of america


here's something i have uploaded months ago, pero never had the chance to share with you until now. this video was taken during our gimmick to Six Flags of America in Illinois last May 2006 by Arnold. we all had so much fun there, and we were wet through and through! not from this ride, but from another one we took right after this. we had so much fun. it wasn't pure happiness like in my dream, but it was close. maybe in this life, at least for now, i should not ask for more.

bohol trip

the philippine tarsier. little and adorable.

hey folks! please take the time to view photos from my recent trip to bohol with my accenture friends. unang beses ko makarating ng visayas that's why i was very excited throughout the trip and very grateful to my friends who invited me and made everything possible. when they were just planning for the trip, i didnt really contribute anything... sabit lang talaga ako and went by whatever plans they came up with. im hoping na makabawi ako sa kanila by coming up with a sort of travelogue. so far all ive manage to come up with is an online album and this blog entry, hehe! pasensya na, i couldn't find the time to write more about our amazing trip!

when you have a few days off from work and contemplating on where to go to for some quiet or a nature-adventure type of getaway, consider going to the island-province of bohol. you can spend one day touring around the province, visiting the tarsier sanctuary, chocolate hills and other historical spots tapos another day just relaxing at panglao island. the beach is quite isolated from the crowd so you'll never have to worry about finding a good spot on the shore nor would you have to wait for your turn in the hammocks! the sand is really inviting, white and much finer than those at puerto galera. i haven't been to boracay so i can not compare the two pero ang naalala ko, i was scrubbing my foot on the sand (to remove dead skin cells, hehe!) and it didn't hurt at all. sarap sya. also, water at panglao was pollution- and garbage-free as i expected, pero what surprised me was that the water was "magaang" and not too salty kaya pwedeng lumangoy-langoy or maglakad-lakad towards the deeper portion of the beach without getting tired too easily. its something i enjoyed very much, perfect for kulitan :) its inexpensive there, too. entrance at the bohol beach club was P350 (around $7) pero you can consume P250 (around $5) on food and drinks which the waiters will serve on your table. quite a good deal, di ba? :)

i can't really say it enough -- bohol is truly beautiful and worth visiting. let me know if you need assistance planning your trip. i will be happy to help :)

where in the world...

this is something a friend told me about and it's quite neat. in case you're wondering where in the world am i most of the time these days, here's a satellite snapshot:



that's cybergate right there. still under construction, however. i guess the satellite snapshot is outdated. but still i think you'd agree that www.wikimapia.org is one of the coolest websites you can surf these days. i even found our family residence :)

make sure to mouse over the different places -- you'll find pretty interesting tags and comments from people around the globe. the ones posted by filipinos can sometimes be really funny.

enjoy!

new blogthings

hi guys. salamat for still visiting my blog... i have not been posting anything lately due to workload and the fact that i no longer have access to internet after work hours. for those of you who don't know yet, im back home. and here at home, i don't have internet connection sa bahay although my dad urges me to have one installed so he can do research from home. my dad is back to school and recently got straight 1.0 in all his subjects :) galing no, congrats dad!

anyway... about the new blogthings. we have a new chatbox -- the old one just suddenly stopped to work. this is the same chatbox you can see from Arn's site. I got the idea from him, hehe. i also updated the weather box to indicate my present location, manila. this is something i find helpful, so please feel free to scroll down when you visit this blog and click on the weather box to get a 5 to 10-day forecast. that should help you plan your weekends. also, lastly, i added a listing of the books i have been reading (for quite a while now) from allconsuming.net website. it's actually pretty cool. aside from books, you can also track movies you've seen and music albums you're listening to and post any reviews or ratings for them. there's also a way for you to see what others are into so that's also interesting.

hope you guys care to checkout the new items here and also don't forget to leave me any message. that really cheers me up these gloomy days...

take care everyone and have a blessed weekend!

on goodbyes


I can't tell if you're the same person i know,
but there could never be a replacement for you
Don't ever wither, you lone flower.

more than a year ago, someone dedicated those lines to me. these were his last words before goodbye. they may sound corny to you but they are truly special to me. i am writing them here because i want to be reminded that goodbyes can be gracious and redeeming and even encouraging. it should never spawn out of anger or fear or frustration... sabi nga di ba, to let go takes courage and love... ayan, nice... parang tinamaan ako a, hehehe.

oh well, don't ask.

good reminder on a monday

“Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to the fulfilling your dreams.”


Og Mandino (1923-1996)
Author, “The Greatest Salesman in the World”

...why not...



...Evangeline Lilly of "Lost" and Sarah Geronimo...

Hehe. Classic.

Nakatakas si Erap, FVR at GMA sa mga terorista at nagtago sa mga sako sa isang farm.
Terorista1: Anong nakita mo dyan?
Terorista2: Mga sako lang.
Terorista1: Tingnan mo ang laman! Sinipa ng terorista ang unang sako, "Meow", sabi ni FVR!
Terorista2: Pusa! Sinipa ang pangalawang sako, "Aw aw!" sabi ni GMA!
Terorista2: Aso! Sinipa ang ikatlong sako... Walang tunog kaya sinipa uli ito nang sinipa ng terorista. Dahil sa sakit ng sipa, napasigaw na si Erap. "Patatas!"

hazel

naaliw lang ako and i thought i should post something about it. i find myself listening a lot lately to some "relatively new" songs in my playlist. both songs had somehow to do with hazel:


"All For You" by Sister Hazel

I thought I'd seen it all
'Cause it's been a long, long time
But then we'll trip and fall
Wondering if I'm blind

There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads, They lead to you
I just can't turn and walk away

It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, And I can't do
Enough to prove,
It's all for you

-ooo-

"Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes


I first heard the "All for You" song from Ria or Lianne. I often hear them sing that song when we go driving or hanging out during the weekends. I'm not sure but I think according to Ria, this was part of the OST for the movie "Ten Things I Hate About You". Nice, easy song.

The second one, I first heard it from the Kelly Clarkson concert that we went to last July. If I remember correctly, it's one of the first few songs Kelly sang in the concert. Feeling ko lang, sakto: i can't breathe, i can't sleep, i'm barely hanging on.

shawee and me at the botanic gardens

i-hug ba ang kapostehan?! hehe... ganyan talaga pag nam-miss ang mga mahal sa buhay.. nam-miss ang mga hugs at kung ano-ano na lang ang niyayakap. pero in fairness, ang ganda namin :)

haha, feeling ko magre-react ka, misterclay :p

better days

at the millenium park, with lee and amy



at the navy pier, with shellane



at the six flags, with jaye and ana



at the chicago cares, with amy



at the lincoln park, with gsps girls

bean there, bean that

...i smile, but deep inside...

i only have ten days left here in chicago. but if i count my days in weekends like i usually do when things are not as interesting as we hope them to be, i only have one and a half weekends left...i would leave on a sunday.

for the past few days, i have been denying the fact that im going home soon. i didn't do anything different from what i have been doing before: i stayed at home most of the time, ate leftovers from lunch, did some online shopping, tambay sa oakwood, did laundry for hours, watched late night tv... i didn't go out except when going to work or the grocery or go jogging. i didn't take any pictures...

pero anyway, i think i am finally turning a new leaf and i am finding myself more and more accepting of the fact that my time here in chicago is up. ugh. i have to face the inevitable: i am going home soon and there's nothing much i can do except to make the most of my remaining time...

so ayun...

sigh...

fine time

out of nowhere, there's a song which i started to sing. just a few minutes ago, as soon as i got home. it's a song from eraserheads' cutterpillow album, released almost a decade ago which also includes the ultra popular song at that time, "el bimbo" which won the band their mtv asia award for best video. anyway... the song in my head is called, "fine time" and i am dedicating this to my friends here in chicago -- lianne, mhel, joyce and ria. here goes:

I hope we could spend more time together
A few hours is better than never
If we could only make it longer
A whole day would be fine
A whole week would be fine
A whole month would be fine
A whole year would be fine
A decade would fine
A century would be fine

Fine, fine time
Fine, fine time
Fine, fine time
Fine, fine time...


taken last september 9, 2006 at the transit

Forever...would be fine.

tambay

i love hanging out with my friends here in chicago after work. for the last couple of days, i have been spending more time in their apartment than in mine. yap, im an official tambay.

thursday night - ria, lianne and i spent the evening at arnold's. gumagawa kami ng send-off video for enrico who is flying home this weekend. i was supposed to go to the gym but i stayed na lang to give them moral support and a piece of my creative side. oh well...wala naman ako masyadong naitulong sa kanila except maybe giving them the occassional entertainment when i would dance the rico mambo (altogether with ria now) which was the background music for the video. hehe. thanks arn for the dinner and ria for the happy chocolate cake.

friday night - again, i was supposed to go to the gym. pero i was invited to come over to 1601 for dinner. when i got there, i realized that there were many of them there and that that they were already watching a dvd. start pa lang ng movie and so eventhough napanood ko na, i decided to watch. oddly enough, the movie was "national treasure" -- didn't i just mention this in my blog a few posts ago? i found that fascinating so i excitedly awaited the part in which they were at the liberty bell. dinner was taken cared of by lianne: pasta w/ tuna in pesto sauce (ate, the best!) i watched a total of 3 movies that night -- i was the last to go home, haha! i was also nakikilaba kasi, hehe... -- lahat ng movies napanood ko na in the past pero they're movies that i liked kaya i still enjoyed watching them again. the other two movies were "fools rush in" and "what dreams may come". adventure, comedy, then drama, free dinner and good friends. all in one night. san ka pa? thanks rj for buying dvds and for letting me do the laundry at your place each week. salamat lianne for dinner --- ate, watch out for the slow motions in life :)

now i know why bums like bumming around. masaya.

full moon

full moon in chicago
full moon in chicago,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
when was the last time you had seen the moon.. i mean, really stopped to look up and for a few seconds admire its beauty?

while on a picture-taking tour last weekend with a friend, i was interrupted by a group of gentlemen who were walking by coming from the north side of michigan avenue to tell me that i should be taking a photo of the full moon instead of the buildings... at that time, i was taking photos of the wrigley building and the skyline and was preoccuppied as it was the first i had used the night mode of my SLR. the gentlemen startled me a little bit but i was thankful in the end -- as you can imagine, the full moon by the river was quite a view and i couldnt stop taking pictures as soon as i saw it. unfortunately, i do not have my tripod and most of my pictures were blurry... i also couldnt find any steady bar to place my camera at. this is the only shot that i like... I hope you'll like it somehow.

for more chicago photos, please click the image and view the slideshow. enjoy!

i can phil it :)


hi folks :) im inviting you to view the photos from my walking trip in the streets of philadelphia last july 2006 where i had to conduct training for a client. if you have seen the movie national treasure with nicolas cage, some of the pictures would seem familiar to you. philly is a very historical place. has interesting places to hangout to and shop. but it's relatively small compared to chicago so i felt like i saw a lot kahit sandali lang ako duon.

hope you enjoy the pictures and please feel free to leave any comments for me. thanks and have good day!

lapit na

kaaliw...

agos


buong araw ang pag-agos
kailan ang huling unos...

isang umaga muli ng pag-iisa
walang mayakap at makasama
pusong pilit na sinugatan
landas kong karaniwan

ayos lang, agos lang...

from Up Dharma Down's Pag-Agos
THE WORLD IS OUR PLAYGROUND AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE HOME
written by Pol Yap
performed by Up Dharma Down

you are my sunshine
and my occasional rain
we become divine after every pain
so please, won't you
sit this through because everyday
will find reasons to stay
if words are too few
to keep horizons in view
will you go
or stay and grow
standing on the edge
between crazy and sense
remember what I said...
NOTHING HAS TO END.

salamat to my bro for sending me the mp3 of this song. its been playing in my media player over and over again since i downloaded it. the intro reminds me of coldplay's shiver. the last part where she softly asks "where do we go from here?" and then repeatedly sings, "i swear, i belong...this is where i belong..." -- ay, ang ganda sobra... been asking my friends to listen to it. there are other songs in my "Up Dharma Down" playlist worth listening to rin. try nyo. hope you enjoy them.

the hours

"I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn't the beginning. It was happiness. It was the moment. Right then."

-from the movie, 'The Hours'

i never consider a day lost or wasted even when i feel lost myself or forgotten or trapped within my own fears or made humble or struggling or reminded of my own shortcomings and limitations... there will always be the minutes, and the hours when everything you had ever imagined to become or hoped for is right there in front of you. even in such circumstances, there are minutes when happinness is not something you have to decide on for yourself but is handed to you as a gift. there will always be those minutes, there will always be those hours.

to my partner in crime here in chicago


ate....amishu! kaaliw picture natin dito, o. hahahaha! we are so cuuute, ate!!! haha! hey, paramdam ka naman kahit kaunti kahit busy... miss kita super... wala na ako kasama mag-volunteer, ate...mag-iswim sa 25th floor, mag-videowke with matching english-tagalog translation and sometimes dance interpretation at wala na rin akong tagapagluto ng filipino foodie such as sardinas with miswa, hehehe! anyway, sana ay nasa mabuti kang kinalalagyan at nagpapakasaya sa piling ng labs mo! yiheee!!! ingat, ate!!! see you soon :)

ay, ate... naiwan ko pala ung miswa ko sa room mo... hehehe... bye!! mwah!!

man waiting for train

passenger
passenger,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
this is my entry for our assignment this month. the theme is "reflection". i took this photo some time May this year using my old kodak camera, dx7440, while on a free architectural tour with shellane and her friends around downtown aboard the L-train.

to view entries from other people, click here and enjoy!

Book Tag

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag three people.

This is from "Out of the Silent Planet," the first of the Ransom Trilogy by C.S. Lewis:

'He wants our race to last for always, I think, and he hopes they will leap from world to world...always going to a new sun or something like that.

Is he wounded in his brain?

I do not know. Perhaps I do not describe his thoughts right. He is more learned than I.
'

Thanks, Arnold for tagging me. I enjoyed this one. I was at the living room sitting on the carpet floor as usual when I learned about my being tagged. There were two books near me, but this is the one on top so I chose it. The other one is "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand.

I'm tagging Katz, Almin, and Cae :)

Have a good weekend!

-ooo-

Here's another quote from the same book and one which I would much rather share than the one above: 'A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking, Hman, as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing. The seroni could say it better than I say it now. Not better than I could say it in a poem. What you call remembering is the last part of the pleasure, as the crah is the last part of the poem. When you and I met, the meeting was over very shortly, it was nothing. Now it is growing something as we remember it. But still we know very little about it. What it will be when I remember it as I lie down to die, what it makes in me all my days till then--that is the real meeting. The other is only the beginning of it. . . .'

There is beauty and wisdom in this space travel story so I hope you would be interested in reading it as well. Click here to learn more about it.

being green

last night, i found myself asking a friend who has traveled and lived in europe for a few years this question: if he were to be given the chance to go back to just one place in europe, which place would it be?

my friend's answer was ireland. i wasn't surprised, from his stories he sounded like he really loved it there. he then went on to show me pictures of ireland from his website (using his mobile phone). most of the photos were landscapes, very scenic: cliffs, valleys, snow-capped mountains and shorelines, wild forests. this last one is interesting, the forest is unattended but it was really organized. the trees were tall and slender, evenly spread out and there were wild blue flowers growing at their foot. it was beautiful.

napaisip tuloy ako where i would go back to here in the US if i had just one chance to do so. i had two places in mind -- the central park in NY and the wiscosin dells. i guess im also a nature-lover.

pero if i were in europe, im pretty sure i would be spending a considerable amount of time visiting historical places, middle-age citadels, century-old cathedrals, world-war memorials, museums and famous architectural masterpieces such as the eiffel tower in france, colliseum in rome, the london bridge, or the leaning tower of pisa. aren't these what europe is known for? never thought of europe as a place to go to if you would want to be in commune with nature...from the pictures my friend showed me, im clearly mistaken. lalo ko tuloy inaasam makarating duon.

by the way, i don't recall ever sharing with you pictures from the wisconsin dells from this blog. kaya naman, i thought id create something to let you see how truly beautiful nature can be. i hope you'll also appreciate it:


photos from the wisconsin dells


so, yeah. i love nature. and come to think of it, when i was in manila, i would keep coming back to UP even if only to sit by the sunken garden or the lagoon and also maybe that's why here in chicago, i could go out and spend time at the lincoln park or the north avenue beach even though im all by myself. hmmm... i love nature. kaya pala i love to wear green.

my green self

thoughts on a thursday morning

...you need coffee...
...you have a morning call to take...
...you have a chore to do...
...you have a postcard to send...
...you have a request to make...
...you have a list to check...
...you have a lesson to learn...
...you have a passion to pursue...
...you have a book to finish...
...you have a soul to mend...
...you have a past to cherish...
...you have a love to let go...
...you have hope to be joyful for...
...you have a God to know...
...you have a prayer to lift up to...
...you have a heart to make right...
...you have a family to share happy moments with...
...you have dreams to fulfill...
...you have today to live...

and you have this to be thankful for:
you are where you had wanted to be.

Battle

Battle
Battle,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
do not let the hero in your soul perish...check your road and the nature of your battle. the world you desire can be won -- it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Playing on the Sea-shore

Seashore
Seashore,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
I know not what I appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell, whilest the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.

--Isaac Newton (1642-1727), Memoirs of Newton

fountain of love

fountain of love, philadelphia
fountain of love, philadelphia,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
"Love is a portion of the soul itself,
and it is of the same nature as the
celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise." -Victor Hugo


i expected to find historical places in philadelphia. and i did. i saw the liberty bell, the independence hall where the US constitution was signed, i saw old buildings and quaint shops... but i never expected to see this: a fountain of love, in the middle of the downtown. it was quite a view. as you can see in the picture, i wasnt the only one amazed by it.

the fountain was shooting straight up as if wanting to reach the sky...very simple in its form, but very powerful. awakening, roaring, breath-taking. much like the love which most of us dream of: one that would take us from the dark avenues of our souls and bring us high up to the heavens.

pancake for lunch, anyone?

pancake for lunch
pancake for lunch,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
have i told you guys how much i love breakfast? i can eat breakfast anytime of the day. yummm.

ingredients: maya hotcake mix, water, oil to grease the pan and alaska sweetened condensed milk! wala pa ring tatalo :)

beautiful beyond description

this is the turte pond, at the central park in new york

this is a really beautiful place. very serene, this pond is situated in the midst of a hurried city, almost on top of an almost incomprehensible subway system... who would expect to find something this tranquil a few blocks away from all the noise and blinding lights at the times square. was truly awesome being there and for several minutes, i could only sit there and be quiet. i don't know what i must have thought but i probably said "wow" to myself over and over like i often do when i get overwhelmed with beauty or majesty. looking at the pictures of the pond, i am now reminded of this song:

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depth of Your love
To a God whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You

hmmm....actually, i did more than stand -- I jumped!

Haha!

not for the post-its

Remember how the tears won't flow while your body trembles. As if the soul aches to separate from your being. Out of reluctance. A soul not shattered, but made smaller. Shriveled.

Remember how you were made silent and humbled. Out of pain, and sadness and maybe disgrace. Brought by your own mistakes. And his.

Remember how you shivered. Remember how you sought for cover and stillness and rest; how you fought hard to be unafraid, to remain hopeful. Remember how easily your heart broke by thoughtless words and careless actions and how hard it was to mend. Harder each time it breaks again.

But also, remember his own brokenness and his tears, his embrace and how he tried to be silent to keep things from falling completely apart. For you. Remember this and try never to be bitter.

not an ordinary pond

my shell-carrying friends -- pong, squirt and pochi -- will all be delighted to know where i am going to tomorrow afternoon. its a 'sacred' place for them reptiles, a quiet zone where even music playing is prohibited. kind of like the tibetan lhasa, or a mecca which can be a place where all turtles can go on a pilgrimage at least once during their lifetime. dogs are not allowed to go playing or running here and im pretty SURE penguins are prohibited either. it will also be interesting to know that this place is in front of an old castle called the Belvedere which was built in 1872 to ornament the scene. i don't think i have ever been to a castle so im truly looking forward to this trip. i hope things go as planned. sounds really delightful.

anyway, click here if you also want to find out where this place is.

-ooo-

turtley trivia: the upper-shell on a turtle is called a carapace, the inner layer of which is made up of about 60 bones that includes portions of the backbone and the ribs, meaning the turtle cannot crawl out of its shell. i honestly didn't know this. i thought somehow they can crawl out... seriously...i should be observing my friends better, hehe. should you have turtley trivias, please share them to me, ok?

have a good weekend and God bless!

blurry and dali

thought id post my current playlist, something i would enjoy looking back years from now, and my current desktop wallpaper (nope, tiger woods is not in here). i wish i had done this dati pa. it would have been quite a trip down memory lane as i go through my archive. no, seriously :)


"metamorphosis of narcissus" by salvador dali

not sure where i got this, pero ive always been able to appreciate the works of dali, of which the most popular i guess would be persistence of memory. im not a dali fan, pero certainly, his paintings are amongst those i look long and hard when i go visiting art museums. contrary to what i had assumed before i saw his paintings in person, his works are crisp, the lines or strokes are sharp, as a whole very polished. there's seldom any layering or texture to it (unlike van gogh's), it's very two-dimensional, yet its so alive that if you turn away from it for a few minutes and look into the picture again, it would feel as if something had changed; a head lifted, a shadow shifted. if there was a dog or an old lady in the picture, or a hand or clock, it was something he had planned on putting there; not to hide something or merely improve the work aesthetically or create a vague impression but it seems to me he was telling something. although it is seemingly incoherent at first, his paintings usually had a story, an idea, and only he can put the pieces of that story in that manner. fortunately, dali does not leave us clueless -- which is something good about him, unlike other artists. for example in this painting above, dali wrote a poem about it. nice, huh? being a surrealist, his themes are seldom popular, unlike a madonna and her child or a quiet landscape, but i would like to believe that somehow i can relate to them. its like being in one of my dream sequences, his paintings are vivid, moving, kind of twisted, always mesmerizing. i like it.

-ooo-

anyway, here is my "blurry" playlist, i listen to these songs whenever im home these days. it's not yet in my ipod but hopefully ill be able to upload them soon, in time for my flight to philadelphia and new jersey next week. my ipod playlist still has songs which i downloaded from year 2000, back when napster was still exciting and nokia 3210 was the latest and greatest gadget, hehe. in case you want any songs from the playlist, just let me know and ill send it to you. no, seriously :)

  • Puddle of Mudd - Blurry
  • Jewel - Near You Always
  • Aimee Mann - One (Magnolia Soundtrack)
  • City On A Hill - God Of Wonders
  • Cold Play - Shiver
  • Five for fighting - One More for Love
  • Five For Fighting - Easy Tonight
  • Five For Fighting - Maybe I
  • Nickelback - Far Away
  • Sting & The Police - Message In A Bottle
  • Switchfoot - Learning To Breathe
  • Switchfoot & Jars of Clay - Let That Be Enough
  • Switchfoot - I Dare You To Move
  • Pussy Cat Dolls - Stick With U
  • Sixpence None the Richer & Jars of Clay - With Every Breath
  • Guster - Hang On
  • Howie Day - Collide

'yun lang. have a good day everyone and God bless!

the layas in me...


...is nangangarap to visit this place in miami. my co-worker told me im welcome to stay at their place anytime. this is their pool, and this is his view. he even said that i might be able to see dolphins in the bay... and that we're only 10 minutes away from the beach....hmmm... im already thinking grass skirts, hawaiian shirts, palm trees, coconut juice, hammocks and yukelele, hehe....wouldn't that be nice? baka naman i'm just imagining things again. baka iba naman ang hawaii or carribean sa miami ano... have to check the travel sites and then call united to see if i have earned enough mileage... stop muna with daydreaming... erase, erase :)

but look at the picture... it's so pretty out there...

-ooo-
earlier today, nangangati yung talampakan ko, parehong talampakan, literally! haha! maybe it's a sign that i should really go on a vacation while im here in the US -- either that or dapat e nagtsi-tsinelas ako palagi ano?! anyway, we'll see if I can go to miami. it isn't really a place that i had always wanted to go to but it's really difficult to resist a generous offer. let us think about it...


still thinking... :)

something red

kiss me
kiss me,
originally uploaded by gezelle.
i recently joined a group of learning photographers in flickr to showcase some of my work, get to know people who are as enthusiastic about photography as i am, to be inspired and be challenged, and to be able to see how much better i can still be. hehe. gagaling nung mga members, nanliit ako and at first was shy to join. pero i have to be kapal and do this so i can learn more and build a much better portfolio. i know that i have a lot of unlearning and learning to do, pero im patient and im passionate about this... i want to be really good at this.

we have an assignment this month to post a picture of something red. i have three candidates so far but i will try to come up with something better. if wala, i will submit this picture as my entry. i took this one in indiana at the motor speedway early july. this guy and his iguana are team ferrari fans, i saw them walking around shopping for souvenir items with many other fans at the end of the qualifying events. they both are adorable.

i dont hope to win, but i hope to be noticed and get votes kahit paano. kahit isa lang, hehe. we'll see.

still

when we feel that we have nothing left but Him, we often find that God is more than enough. i have written this countless times before and i have found this true in my life over and over. some things will never change, some things will never fade even for a little bit, some things will never falter. some love never fails.



photo taken from the chicago cares after-event party, may 2006

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God.

Find rest my soul...

With Your faithfulness, how can i remain sad; with Your quiet embrace, how can i remain troubled?

eight weird habits

because i was tagged by misterclay, here goes:

1. numbers. when commuting alone, especially in heavy traffic, i play with the numbers in car plates and try to come up equations that will make use of all digits. these equations are seldom complex, for example, 758 would be 7+8=3x5. pwede na yun, hehe. wag na pahirapan masyado ang sarili.

2. dreams. i have colored and vivid dreams and they are somewhat prophetic. these dreams are usually trivial, of little importance and i can't tell which parts will come true so they haven't been of any benefit to me or anyone i know. if i can remember something truly vivid and detailed about my dream, i have the habit of telling that dream sequence to people who are close to me or the first person i meet when i wake up. usually my mom or my cousin or my former dormmates. within a day or two, what i told my friends or my relatives would often come true.

3. too childish. since childhood, i have had this habit of playing with my nails and cuticles. hehe, yuck no. that's why my nails look really bad, well not all ten fingernails. but still, dyahe.

4. of tsinelas and ballpens. i have this bad habit of using someone else's tsinelas and ballpen. in the office, if people are missing their pencils or pens, they would come asking me if i have it. immediately. without second thoughts or consideration. right, dino and lee? and often enough, they are with me. wahehe. sa bahay, my nanay would often come knocking at my room, asking if her tsinelas was under my bed and ayun nga, usually they are. i dont know why i do this. trying to be more aware of it so i can avoid it, don't mean any disrespect. just being naturally weird :)

5. when i feel that the world is conspiring against me (i like this!), i would often find myself go to powerbooks. i find comfort in books, they are good friends who entertain me without expecting anything in return :) nothing bad about that. what's bad is that i would often start reading a book and not finish it then move on to the next one. right now, im reading so many books. very unfulfilling. should strive to finish this one i just started to read two days ago which so far i find really good: atlas shrugged. sana, sana.

6. i like changing my msn or ym status to something that would reflect how i feel, which pretty much changes more often these days. is that bad? i have good friends who look forward to it and ask me what they mean or what happened. hehe. at least im entertaining them and i know which of my friends care enough to know. may pagka-ksp ang dating. hehe.

7. i have a bad habit of heating something up in the stove and forgetting about it. my lola and dad hates this habit most of all the other bad habits i have. im such an asyang aksaya :(

8. bathroom post-its. i have this weird habit of forgetting my wednesday 8am morning conference calls. hindi ko alam bakit, pero i keep forgetting this one! i should get my post-it and write something about it, put the reminder in my bathroom so i can see it the night before when i brush my teeth. so far i have other post-its in my bath room which reads: drink plenty of water, do some jogging, and other quotes i hear from tv or read somewhere :) do you put post-its in your bath room? is that normal? anyway, im putting it here... i still think its kind of weird.

okay, so this was somewhat fun so im tagging 8 friends too: katrin, lee, amy, emie, ria, vince, anthony, jaylord. sige na, share nyo naman your 8 weird habits to us. looking forward to it.

'yun lang, have a good weekend!

life in monochrome


trying to see life without the blinding colors.
sometimes, it's easier and much better that way.

the shorter story

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes...

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you...
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind off of you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
'Til I find somebody new

tell me about high maintenance

because i know you love grapes, here's another bowl: with my permission this time... hope you...



what? don't tell me...

thank you would be really nice, you know... they're not the freshest but at least, they are seedless...

sheesh...

should change the title of this entry: penguin for sale, anyone?

tsk, tsk...

penguins...never had this problem with sea turtles, you know.

something wickedly good


wicked, the musical

last saturday, i went to see wicked with shellane and her mom at the Oriental Theater here in downtown Chicago. to those of you who are not familiar with it, this is the untold story of the witches and the wizard of Oz and all the other characters from that familiar story -- except the little girl from Kansas and her dog. it's a story about good and evil, expectedly, but it is also a story about true friendship and accepting how limitless you can be if you remain true to what you believe in.

i can't begin to describe how good this musical production is and how much i loved it. to me it was awesome, every aspect of it: the story, the costume and the set, most especially, the music. i loved almost every song and during the play i would often find myself clap at the end of a scene and even cry at times as well. for two hours, i was completely absorbed by it, amazed to say the least. when i got to the theater, i didn't know what to expect because i didn't read any reviews nor haven't read the book. although i have been hearing from everyone who has seen it that it was good, i didn't expect it to be THAT good. for two days now, i can't stop listening to the soundtrack which i immediately downloaded when i got home. i was also lucky to be able to download a full video of the play: someone was pasaway enough to capture it with a digital camera and upload it over the internet. the video is really big and i don't think i can share it here but i uploaded some of the songs which i loved so please feel free to listen:

I'm Not That Girl
(Elphaba singing)
Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in


Because I Knew You
(Elphaba singing to Glinda)
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend

im always like that when i watch musicals, i get completely blown away and changed in some way, as if i had been taken on a magic ride in a broomstick or a balloon and sent upward to defy gravity and go to a happier place for just a little while. if you get the chance, go see it because i truly believe it's worth your money and your time, even if you don't particularly like theater. without exaggeration, i can say that, "Wicked" is truly and wickedly wonderful.

appear, disappear, appear!

...so medyo nahuli pa ako ng entrance...

"i would like to greet my nanay and my friends!!!"

tama ba na magsisisigaw kami sa likod ng reporter na ito?! ay, kebs! it was fun! click any of the images above and try to observe closely. if you recognize who the crazy people in the back are, you could find yourself laughing so hard! i used to be annoyed by people who do that lalo na if they frame their faces with their thumb and fore finger and especially if it was a live report on something that's supposed to be serious. kaya naman may hint ng hiya on my part to announce to people that i did the same. but at least, in our defense, this time what we were doing is somewhat appropriate naman 'di ba? and i really think, nakadagdag pa nga sa "celebrative" mood. hehe :)

video courtesy of CBS Chicago and was taken after the fireworks display at Grant Park near the Lake Shore during the eve of the Independence Day Celebration. the guy in yellow is vince and yung nasa kanan is pads, somewhere there makikita mo rin si ria. ako yung naka-white na naglakad from the right. obvious naman di ba dahil nilagyan ko na ng box ung sarili ko :) so what do you think about our tv appearance? fun 'di ba?

thanks ria for sending the link, this made my day and i now have something new to tell my relatives paguwi ko that will make them laugh so hard. hehe. anyway, enjoy viewing!

TGIF

its 5am and i havent slept nang mahusay... i just know something's missing in my life and im not quite alright. started talking to my friend from Manila and told him im sad. he tried to cheer me up by sending me an emoticon of a dancing rat. hehe. its silly but somehow made me smile. then while talking to him, i realized how much i miss being with people who knows me best, how much i miss being home, in our house with my parents especially my mom. i was watching tv kanina until 1am, and i recall watching late night tv shows with my mom and dad as the three of us try to fall asleep. tabi-tabi kami sa sala, we prefer to sleep there than in our rooms dahil mas presko ang hangin. usually, my mom would be in the middle tapos kami ng tatay ko sa gilid. we would turn on the sleep setting of the tv, para it will automatically shutdown when we're all finally asleep. usually, im the last to fall asleep, nauuna pa nga yung tv mag-shutdown and all channels would start signing-off.

hay, grabe...i just want to be home kahit sandali lang... kahit one hour lang. im wishing tuloy, sana i have sabrina's magical power to transport herself to different places. ill take myself back to that old familiar place with both the two people i love most in life.

naiinis ako when i think about it...feeling ko kasi we should be allowed to fly back home kahit once lang. my friends say that its in the policies, pero i am not granted that privilege due to budget concerns. kaso ang masakit, my managers here are going to Manila for two weeks this month... maiiwan ako... naiinis ako, pero what can i do... even if i ask, hindi naman iga-grant for sure. dapat hindi ko na lang isipin, di ba... sasama lang loob ko if i think about it. isipin ko na lang na at least pwede akong makapagpadala ng stuff sa kanila... pero kahit na, kapos pa rin... ahhck.

so tonight, or today, because it's 530am... ang theme song ng buhay ko ay:

somewhere out there
beneath the pale moon light
someone's thinking of me
and loving me tonight

hehe...korni no? anyway, ganon talaga. accept the things we cannot change and focus on what blessings we have. at least i know nam-miss rin ako ng nanay at tatay ko back home and that we are looking at the same set of skies and stars, im just seeing them from the other side of the world. kaya for now, i should be content and try to get back to bed and get some good rest. napuyat na ako ng husto. oa. buti na lang friday na.

a greeting from godzilla

ana, tito roger, and godzilla
07/04/2006


surprise! happy birthday, tito :) wala naman akong masabi masyado kundi happy, happy birthday! im praying that all your wishes for the year -- for your family, your career, tita violy, your friends and co-workers -- come true. praying for more blessings and more smiles to come your way kasi you truly deserve that and so much more :) thank you for welcoming all of us to your home and to your life, salamat for all the kwento, the pabaon, for cooking delicious food for us -- i love your laing and sinigang and pot roast, for teaching us how to cook (pasado ba?), for showing us your old photos (hehe!), for driving us to the Outlet Malls and CostCo to buy clothes, groceries, and pasalubong, for the genuine friendship and the countless other ways you make us smile :) thank you for being the coolest and cutest tito in town! my stay this time here in Chicago is certainly several times more memorable and more enjoyable than the first because i came to know you and your family.

God bless! May you truly enjoy this day!

the one with tony danza

Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today
by elton john


this song has been playing in my head and my media player for two days now. heard it on FOX channel while watching "Friends". it was funny because Phoebe replaced "tiny dancer" with "tony danza" and was insisting that hers was the correct version :) i have been so addicted to this song kaya i managed to download the different remakes of it. so far i have the version from almost famous, the one by ben folds five and also the one by red hot chili peppers. all good. haven't downloaded the one by elton john though :) because of this song, i kept picturing myself dancing all night long and being lost in the music. kaya naman i was SO glad to be invited by a friend to go out with him and his friends tonight to this place called "howl at the moon", which has a live band (composed of 3 pianists, a drummer and a violinist) and a floor for dancing -- i got his call as i was writing this post! and you know what, the band played "tiny dancer" later on that night. haha! my friend and i was so happy and kept shouting "tony danza" rather than "tiny dancer" during chorus :)

last time i went out with friends to go dancing was mid-march at this place called Transit, i was lucky enough to be invited to layla's birthday celebration who offered to pay for our entrance and drinks. it was the first time i met layla who is lianne's friend and it was the first time i went clubbing in the US. clubbing. hope im using the right term :) we got there pretty early and left at almost 3am. sinulit talaga namin. hehe. here are some photos from that night:


me, lianne and amy


me, che, jaye, allan and ana at the dance floor

suddenly i am reminded of my closest friends from Manila, whom i had shared a room with in Makati for a year or so and whom i miss....i think they would be happy to go clubbing or dancing with me tonight if they can, just like what we had planned on doing several years back but never pushed through... sayang... maybe one day when i return, just let me know because that would really make me happy and im sure it would really be fabulous :)

in my shoes


"its hard to walk in a single woman's shoes...that's why we need special ones now and then"

carrie bradshaw was talking about a manolo blahnik shoes in that episode of SATC -- it was a silver 4-inch high, peeptoe one worth $485. the one i have above didn't even cost me more than $15, which i bought last May over lunch :) it's such a lovely pair which i can wear for office or for going out in the evening. i can run in these and jump. i think its that good a pair thats why i have been going around other shops trying to find another one in beige and maybe another black one, so i have another one to use when i finally wear this one out. but there's none anymore...sayang. anyway, click here to see what carrie was wearing in that show. it looked good on carrie, but those won't fit me well... they're too fabulous and too tall. they're hers. i have mine :)

by the way, notice i had nail polish in my right toes while i don't in the other foot? hehe... i was practicing to find out what would feel and look better. i decided to go without the nail polish :)

summer solstice

north avenue beach
north avenue beach,
originally uploaded by gezelle.

finally, summer is here. i made it through chicago fall, winter and spring. lovely, if you think about it.

i visited the beach yesterday with lee and took photos, i even took my newly adopted sea turtle, pochi, with us. he loved it. we both did. there was no intention of swimming, we just wanted to see the sand, the waves, the sun while it was setting, the cool people hanging out in there... i felt a bit awkward because i was wearing too much clothes, but it was okay -- lee had more :) it was past 7pm when we got there, just in time because the sun was about to set. perfect time for moments of contemplation :) as i expected, the sunset doesnt compare to what we get in the philippines and the beach wasnt as pristine, but i cant complain. i was happy to be there even for just a while.

it has been more than a year since i walked on the sea shore. the last time was feb 2005, in batangas, RTS overnight team-building. nakaka-miss, not just the beach but the people i used to work with who have now left accenture. we had so much fun at eagle point. we went island-hopping via speedboat (scary but tremendously fun), snorkelling, billiards, swimming, kayaking...and just hanging out, enjoying each other's company. sobrang fun. i wish we could do that again...

i never leave the sea without longing to go back pero im sure the longing to go back was much more for my friend pochi. don't worry, pochi. i promise to take you back to the beach before summer ends :) next time, we'll go swimming :)

burdens we cradle


these burdens i cradle
now i am able to face them
change them
or bless them
and i thank you most
for what you did or didnt

the one where morrie was right

i cant help but smile when i think about it... to be sure that he knows i will be happy as long as he is happy and to be sure that he knows i will be there when no one else would... to know that he knows i will never give up until he is able to find his way out of this misery -- he has also saved me from mine... to love simply without complications... to be content with his friendship and to know i can love this much and this way... isnt all that wonderful? morrie was right all along: love wins, love always wins.
...i could sing of your love forever...

i have been thinking these days, and i have been grateful for these thoughts.... no one can satisfy us like the One who called us His children and loves us unconditionally... He loves us as if there's only one of us...He meets us in the depths and if we let Him, even in the shallows of our souls...

Of dreams and pancakes

The trouble with having a really good night's dream is waking up wishing that life could be just a little bit more wonderful...The trouble with dreaming about a stack of pancakes is waking up to find out you only have honey syrup in the fridge.

hey, tony...


i have few memories of you, but those i will hold dear: my favorite is seen in our picture above and the one below taken at allan's bday party - cute natin di ba? :) thank you for being so warm palagi, sweet even. ready to listen and to give advice. always on the lookout for an opportunity to make us smile and enjoy our brief stay here :) you did make me smile and i enjoyed your company a lot. salamat, ha. im grateful for every remembrance of you.

here's a trivia tony, which i didnt tell you :( when you were singing 'my way' last tuesday you reminded me of my dad -- both of you share the same passion for that song. he is also a good singer, like you. it was a good song you sang...

bye for now and be at peace, tony, we will meet again and we will sing some more when we do. you get to choose the songs like you did last week. anything you like :)